When I was asked to give a talk today, I thought “on Mother’s Day!!!!” Then I thought…oh man…I have to be in primary AND have a Presidency meeting after Church…UGH….I thought I was supposed to get off and relax today!!!....but then I thought again...that means I don’t have to sit down in the pew and wrestle my kids though sacrament! That’s a relief!!!
As I was looking over my talk invitation to see what the topic was…I seen…Mothers….well….that should have been obvious to me! Then I immediately thought…where do I start? With my own Mom…. What a Mom’s role is? …and then I thought…well I’m a Mom…I can start there!
Jimmy and I were married civilly in 2003. We were trying to finish school, so we didn’t really think about kids for the first 2 years…even though President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should NOT postpone having children…we knew we had to grow up a bit more! THEN….all of a sudden…I knew it was TIME…I’m not sure that HE knew it was time haha…but we needed something more and the Spirit was telling me to start a family…SOON! I’ll never forget the day Jimmy found out I was expecting for the first time. We went to Mama Gina’s in Fulton and I had the waitress hide a pacifier in his soda…under the ice…well…let’s just say that he didn’t notice at first…but as soon as he did…he got up out of his seat…and said “No Way…No Way”…over and over…so I wasn’t sure if he was actually in shock or if he was excited at that point haha! J Once we got the news…I thought immediately…we NEED to get to the temple and be sealed before this baby comes! I KNEW I couldn’t go into labor and have my child knowing I was worthy to go to the temple…but was just too lazy to get there! I knew I had to have my child born under that sacred covenant…SO that’s just what we did….on August 20, 2005….we were sealed in the Palmyra Temple….I remember sitting across the alter..holding my husband’s hands….and there I was 5 months pregnant already and having to go to the bathroom really bad!!! After we were sealed…I was so happy knowing that I would be with my husband and my child-to-come past this life here on Earth…and I thought of how this unborn child influenced us to follow our Heavenly Fathers plan.
On to the day Tristan was born…the day I went from just being a wife…to being a wife AND a mother…December 3, 2005. Since he was my first baby…I had NO clue what I was in for! Just getting him here was a chore on it’s own…and after he was born…the first few days…I was scared to death to even change a diaper…and I couldn’t even burp him because I was worried about breaking his neck! Bringing him home…I remember being so sick and in pain that I cried at least 5 times a day for the first couple weeks. How was I gonna take care of this little baby on my own? My parents went to Hawaii and my husband was working full-time and going to school (oh and hunting inbetween)….and there I was….completely responsible for this little child that my Heavenly Father sent to ME. I knew I had to get it together and start being a MOM.
Who do you go to when you have your first baby and you have NO idea on how to do something….? Of course you go to YOUR Mom… and that’s just what I did! My Mom was such a huge part in helping me get through Tristan’s first year…I wouldn’t have made it without her! Well..I would have…but it wouldn’t have been pretty! I probably would have been one of “those” Mom’s that takes there baby to the doctor for every bump and bruise or sneeze and sniffle! Haha J Mom’s have ALL the answers! Especially MY Mom….I think I lived at her house more than mine….I can remember walking through the door and seeing the look on my Dad’s face…I know he was thinking…”you’re here AGAIN”?!!!
So not only was I responsible for taking care of my little guy….giving baths, changing diapers, feeding him, taking him to the doctors…..I was ALSO responsible for teaching him. Home is where I have the MOST power and influence. I am the example to him…I am the role model…I am the person who is supposed to have ALL the answers now…that’s a LOT of responsibility on my shoulders…just because I am a Mom now. And caring for my child wasn’t the only thing I was responsible for….I had to maintain my household as well….doing laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning….making sure my home was in ORDER…of course I had to do all those things before Tristan was born…but after…my responsibilities grew even greater. I realized that I had to be a nurturer…I had to do my best to create a climate in my home that would help my child grow spiritually and temporally. Now don’t get me wrong…I had all the right intentions….but there were times when my house was nothing but crazy..clothes everywhere…dirty dishes in the sink …baby stuff everywhere…and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s house gets like that…but it definitely has a huge effect on trying to have a house of order. When my house gets like that…it’s NOT peaceful, it’s NOT relaxing…it’s STRESSFUL…and that’s NOT what my home is supposed to be like….when my home is stressful…it is hard feel the spirit…when everything is taken care of the way it’s supposed to be….my home IS peaceful and relaxing and I know the Spirit is in my home more when it is in ORDER…
Right before my eyes…over 3 years have past since I first became a MOM….today I am blessed to have 2 beautiful little boys and 1 sweet little girl. Now…I can finally say I’ve got this Mom-thing all figured out…BUT then I think again and realize…my oldest is ONLY 3…I’ve got a LONG ways to go!!!
As I pondered about what else I should talk about…I thought…just talk about what I’ve learned as a MOM.
So here’s my list of what I’ve learned over the past 3 years…
Children always come FIRST… it’s more important for you to watch the Backyardigans for the 8th time in a row…than to watch American Idol (however…thanks to DVR…you can have the BEST of both worlds!)
Children COPY everything they hear…so the second you slip-up and say something bad…they will repeat it over and over…and then they will wait and say it as loud as they can when your sitting in sacrament!!!
If you think your husband is going to be a superhero helper…think again! Even though he SAYS he will help out…it’s not going to happen until you provide him with a DETAILED LIST….and nag him over and over until he FINALLY does it…but not because he really wants to…because he wants to get to MOM-ster off his back!!! AND when your child is old enough to nag in your place…I highly recommend it!
Teaching your child the word NO is the biggest challenge EVER! No matter how many times you repeat it…or how serious you are when you say it….they ALWAYS find a way to test your limits!!!
Don’t buy every new toy that comes out….just because YOU want it for YOUR child….they are more content playing with an old flashlight or sitting in a laundry basket!
Yelling at your child does NOT work…it only makes things worse…AND when your child is old enough…say 3…they WILL yell BACK at you! TRY to talk in a nice, calm voice...I know it’s hard…but I’d rather NOT be the MOM that the neighbor hears having a screaming match with their 3 year old CHILD! And let’s remember that the spirit will probably RUN away literally…if it heard that!
Don’t stop coming to Sacrament just because your child is the crazy screaming one every Sunday (which I’m sure you’ve noticed mine!!!) Someday they will get it…and realize the importance of sitting reverently…even if you have to keep shoveling fruit snacks into their mouth the entire time!
If you are having a prayer before dinner….keep ONE eye open if possible…because you KNOW your child is probably sneaking bites of mashed potatoes well before the words AMEN are said!!!
Don’t make false promises to your child….if you don’t follow through with something…you will hear it over and over until you actually DO follow though with it….for example…Tristan gets a piece of gum when he goes to the bathroom…if for some reason I don’t feel like getting up to give it to him…he will ask me every 2-3 minutes until he actually gets it!!!
Listen to your child…carefully…because when they are 3…and your driving in the car trying your best to listen to a great song on the radio… they WILL say “Mom…your not listening to me”…”Listen to me”…and then you will feel really bad...and hearing about how he seen a BIG turkey out in a field for Daddy to shoot IS important!
Okay…I could go on and on…I learn new things daily from my little ones…but I’m not the only one learning! MY children are the ones who are learning from ME! As I think about my busy life…working full-time as a teacher, being the Primary President, having a husband that works full-time as an Accountant and “self-proclaimed” professional hunter….my kids NEED to be my TOP priority! I admit…there are many days that I slack on spending the time that I should with them…but I KNOW I need to be there for them! I need to play with them, read to them, laugh with them, sing with them, pray with them….
I am preparing children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into their entire world. I am preparing future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. I will be strong and immovable and will NOT give up during difficult or discouraging times. I will teach MY children the ways of the truth.
Thank you for giving me this wonderful opportunity to speak today…I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
My Uncle Scott...aka the closest thing on this earth there is to my Dad....he reminds me of him so much and sometimes it makes me tear up being with him...what a great man <3
My Uncle Scott...aka the closest thing on this earth there is to my Dad....he reminds me of him so much and sometimes it makes me tear up being with him...what a great man <3
Oh yes...the kids went swimming even though it was cold!!! I think here are Easton, Tristan, Rileigh in the red crab and Kaylee in the pink floaty
Jimmy and Austin running around the pool making a "whirl pool" haha...
